Is this ok?

There is nothing special about dominating the weak.  Any bully can do that.  But, there is nothing more beautiful than seeing a strong, independent woman choose to serve you, please you, to give herself, body and soul, completely to you.  Only a true dominant can earn such a gift.  *Unknown

Recently, we have had a jump in the number of people following Sir and I on Facebook and here when I blog. We love that we can share our journey with others. Sir and I are not about the numbers. We simply felt that this was a good way to share with each other. When others joined us, we were kind of surprised. (in a good way) We are not anyone special. We are just two people trying to raise our kids and live a life as full as possible.  But, I will admit, we are grateful for each of you.  You all have touched us and we appreciate the things you share with us.  So, Sir and I would like to say…. THANK YOU!!!

With this new-found popularity something interesting has happened.  Sir and I get a lot of questions about our life and the D/s dynamic we live 24/7.  I never thought I would be giving out BDSM relationship advice.  If you had told me that  5 years ago, I would have laughed.  We don’t mind at all.  We want to be open and honest about who we are and what we do.  And if you have read any of my other posts you know that when I write I try to be honest with my own brand of humor and sarcasm.

The question we seem to get a lot of is:  We do… (fill in the blank) is this ok?  My Dom/me does … (again fill it in) is this alright?  This is not always an easy question to answer.  In the end it comes down to what you have agreed to.  Sir and I sat for a long time and discussed our rules and protocols.  We BOTH had to agree to them.  We set our hard limits, our soft limits, our safeword.  Then we put it ALL in writing and signed it.  This was our way of saying yes we agree.  One of the things we also put in there is that all protocols are fluid.  They can be brought up and discussed by either of us at any time if we feel the need to clarify and change them.  And while we add more as needed, there is nothing in those rules that ever violates the trust I have in Sir or His ability to lead me.

So, while I am blessed with an amazing Dom who knows me like no other, I know that there are others out there that are not.  So let me be very clear here.  If Sir EVER called me fat or ugly or berated me or humiliated me in a way not agreed to, I would knock His teeth out. If He EVER pushed past a hard limit with no regard for my safety or feelings, I would hope He could run faster than me when He untied me.  If He EVER disregarded my feelings or my needs in a way that was counter productive to the relationship we have worked hard to build, I would put an end to it so fast it would make His head spin.

I know some of you are reading this and thinking, HOLY CRAP!! She is not very submissive.  Actually, I am.  I live by what Sir and I have agreed upon.  If there is a question about it I either ask or make the best decision I can.  I will kneel before Sir.  I will do as I am asked.  I will serve Sir to the best of my ability.  And I will take a punishment with grace when I am told I have earned it and know I have.  But in return, Sir respects me.  He never disregards how I feel.  He always has my safety as His main concern.  He and I are open and honest about what we do and how we feel about things.  We do not hide things from each other and we do not play games.  This is how we choose to do it.  And I know a number of people in this lifestyle who do it like this too.  Being submissive does not mean Sir walks all over me and orders me around and treats me like crap.  Quite the opposite.  Sir being my Dominant does not mean I am to trip all over myself letting my life fall by the wayside so He can have His way.  I am not weak and He is not a bully.

I love Sir with my whole heart and soul.  I have laid bare to Him who I am and what I want.  He is the one person who could ruin me because I have opened up to Him.  He in return has accepted that and promised me He will protect me.  I know that I could hurt Him by telling Him I trust Him to lead then not letting Him and undermining Him.  Both sides are engaged in a delicate dance.    We try not to step on each others toes.  Sometimes we do, but we work it out, learn from it then move on.  We both have something to lose here, but we both have gained so much more.