Waiting and Wanting


I had a post all prepared for this week. It is there waiting in the cyberspace wings. Looking all pretty. And when I read it I thought…. BLAH. Kind of how I feel today. BLAH…

I shouldn’t. I should be in a great mood. I went to bed last night feeling that way. Sir had promised some play time. But, He fell asleep and I was not able to wake Him. Part of my was irritated. Part of me was ok with it. It had been a while. A small dry spell. So hence the irritation. When you in the middle of the desert and your Dom does not allow you any self-gratification without permission, you get a little crabby. But, I also understand He works. He is up early. So I get that He is tired. And when His start time is all over the place, sometimes at 5 AM, sometimes at 8 AM and everywhere in between, I know it is hard to stay on a schedule. So, understanding. 

This morning Sir did make up for it. He woke me with fingers lightly down my side. He kissed and caressed and touched  and rubbed until I couldn’t take anymore. He did it all without taking anything for Himself. When I asked if he would like something in return, He simply replied, if I wanted something I would have taken it. He kissed me and off to work He went saying He would be stopping at His uncle’s tonight. 

I should be happy and satisfied. But there are other things on my mind and for some reason I feel like that was not enough. Bratty and selfish I know. I should be grateful for the time we did share this morning. And I am. Really. I just want more. Sir and I have been trying to get all this financial stuff out of the way to buy a house. They want every last piece of information from you down to your blood type and underwear size. Then you play the waiting game. It has been a long few months. Waiting for my wrist injury to heal. Waiting for workman comp to kick in. Waiting for my disability insurance to pay out. Waiting for a release back to work. Waiting for this dry spell to break. Ugh…

My life seems to be full of waiting. And I am a firm believer you are not given more than you can handle in life. Maybe my lesson here is patience. Since I really do not have much. Patience is a lesson that I am not good at. Mostly because patience to me means waiting, sitting idly, doing nothing but waiting. I am not a sit idle person. I need to be going and doing and fixing and working. 

I am grateful for the time Sir and I spent together this morning. And thinking about it makes me smile. I am just over thinking things. I am just taking personally things out of my control. I hope soon this waiting game will be over. Or I learn patience. But if that lesson has not set in after all these years, I doubt it will now. 


About scarletdahlia or babydoll

This is thoughts and lessons I learn living in a D/s relationship.
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3 Responses to Waiting and Wanting

  1. AnonymousDom16 says:

    What do your children think of it? I’m 16 and love it! What’s your daughter think of it?

    • Both of our kids were completely fine with it. We raised them to accept people for who and what they are. We do judge others for anything that their actions. They said as long as we are happy then so are they. They just do not want to come home to fine us in a “compromising” position. LOL They do however know some of the rules I have to follow. And they sit and wait for me to break them. They then giggle when I get in trouble. Little stinkers. 😉

  2. Claudia says:

    My adult Children know that we are in th Lifestyle but are unaware of the D/s relationship. We plan to keep it that way as they would not understand. Especially my daughter. I suspect that they will figure out something is different though. Then we will deal with it.

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