Monday Morning Musings Late – Questions Answered


I always find it interesting the people we meet in this lifestyle. Whether it be though our Facebook page or here on my blog, I like to see who likes us and what they are about. I love to talk to people. I love to see who they are and share just that little bit they put out there for the world to see. And I love sharing back. It is about finding that thing that connects us. Whether it be the lifestyle Sir and I have, the writing, or something we have shared about us personally.
We have had a few questions about who we are and why we live the way we do so I thought I might share some things.

What is your real name? Why don’t you use it? Are you embarrassed or hiding your lifestyle?

Sorry, but that is not something we share. We have people in our lives who we would like to protect or may not understand our decision. This is our life. But some may be uncomfortable with our choice. We would like our friends and family to enjoy our time together without thinking we are the crazy, kinky couple. No we are not hiding nor are we embarrassed about who we are. If we were we would not have a Facebook page or a blog about it. We simply believe that respect is a two-way street. We want people to respect us and our choices. So we need to respect them. That includes respecting what they are comfortable with and not comfortable with.

Where are you from?

We are from Wisconsin. The land of cheese, beer, brats, and the Green Bay Packers. We live in Saukville. A small town along Lake Michigan.

How did you two meet?

In a bar. I was there with a mutual friend. Sir walked in after work one night and I was smitten right then. I asked our friend His name. At this point in the evening my friend and I had a few drinks and I was liquid brave. I walked over to Sir and said (and yes these were my exact words) Anyone ever tell you that you have a really nice ass? I held out my hand to shake and said Hi my name is ….. That is how we met. Ah the powers of youth and alcohol.

What do we do for work?

Sir drives truck. He works for a local concrete company. His job is seasonal. He is off in the winter and works spring through fall. Being WI that can mean he works 5 months or 10 months or anywhere in between.
I am a letter carrier for the US Postal Service. I also own my own dog training business. The post office pays my bills. The training keeps me sane and is my passion.

Do you have kids?

Yes. We have two teenage children. Our son is 16 and our daughter is 15. We also have two dogs we consider family. One super sweet but very energetic pitbull mix and one I have no idea but he is short, cute and fuzzy mix.

What do you like to do beside work and kinky sex?

Since sex is not an option at all hours of the day and night, we like to do things in the outdoors. We camp and ATV as a family. Sir hunts. I like to garden and work with our dogs. We both like to read. I like cooking, Sir likes eating.

How did you get into BDSM?

There is a post from earlier that is called The Story of Us. It explains it a bit. But, I always had a desire to be submissive. Sir was always a Dom. We were going in circles trying to be who we were not. I took charge because I felt I had to. Sir stepped back feeling unneeded. We were both unhappy in these roles as they were against what and who we were. After a fight, we started talking about things and BDSM and realized we both wanted this and started this life together. Yes, it was just that simple.

Who initiated that conversation and was it hard?

I think I may have. I am not sure. No, it wasn’t hard. I am a pretty straight forward person. In truth, what did we have to lose? We were a mess. What was the worst that could happen? We looked at each other and thought the other was a crazy sex freak? This would have just been one more thing that broke us.

Has BDSM been good for you guys?

Yes, yes and yes. For us personally and our marriage. We both get to be who we are. And it helped us define our roles. We have a clear set of rules and obligations that we both follow and there are no questions where the buck stops in the end.

Who knows about your lifestyle?

Our children know. We have a few friends who know. That is about it. We are not hiding it. We are just not advertising it.

Have you lost friends or family over it?

I lost a friend over it. She was not understanding and caused issues with us. Finally Sir told me to end the relationship. So, I did. Otherwise the few people who know are fine with it. Most just ask some questions then move on.

What types of kinky play are you into? Do you share? Is your relationship open?

This question always makes me laugh. Since if we were a vanilla couple, I am not sure we would get this question. But, you asked, and I promised truthful, I will answer it. We are fairly “tame” in our kink compared to some. We are not into any type of extreme play really. I like pain and Sir likes to inflict pain. But neither of us to the extreme. Enough to be fun and get the point across. But not enough to distract from pleasure. We like bondage, blindfolds, gags, clamps, toys. He can be degrading if He so chooses. I have no issues with names like “slut” or “whore”. As long as we respect each other we are good. Our relationship is not open. Nor do we share. That is something we might or might not think about in the future. It is not a hard limit. More of a semi hard limit.

Do you have things you will not do? What are they?

Our hard limits are pretty simple. We are open to a lot and willing to try just about anything once. But I am pretty absolute on my hard limits and so is Sir. We will not do anything illegal of course. No animals or underage. Nothing involving bodily fluids. No extreme play like knives or needles. No anal. That is mine since I HATE anal. I think that may be about it. If an opportunity presents itself, Sir and I discuss it. If we both want to try, we do. If not, we don’t.

Do you ever get punished? How are you punished?

Yes, I do get punished. Not often, but yes. Sir usually makes me kneel with my nose to the wall alone in a room. Which I HATE. Usually I get a few bare assed swats with a riding crop while there. And yes, He makes them hurt. Sometimes if I am too pushy in asking for sex I get played with and denied satisfaction. The belt is reserved for a few “special” behaviors that Sir ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT TOLERATE. I have a self-destructive tendency or two. Those, if practiced, get me a bare assed belt spank. I tend to stay away from those.

Would you go back to a vanilla lifestyle?

If I had to choose, no. Neither of us would. If there was some reason we had to, we would work it out. But, there would always be some sort of D/s undercurrent there.

Those are the questions I received. Hope that answers them all. There is one from my friend JC. And so she knows, girl I will answer that one. But I think it deserves a post of its own.

About scarletdahlia or babydoll

This is thoughts and lessons I learn living in a D/s relationship.
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3 Responses to Monday Morning Musings Late – Questions Answered

  1. lovely to see all your answers šŸ™‚

  2. Chris says:

    Is there a way to contact y’all besides FB due to the fact me nor my sub have a FB?

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